How much courage is needed to say “I’m not okay”?

Just 3 words yet they're not easy to say…

It seems that 'How are you?' and 'I'm fine' is the most typical brief dialogue we engage in.

The askers often use it as an ice-breaking tool, a random question with no real intention behind it.

The respondents also just reply to fill in the dialogue. They rarely want to share how they actually feel. 

Two people are talking with each other in public or the office. They are in a hurry, with no luxury for a deep talk. 

The social context and the individuals involved often make it challenging to express one's true feelings.

Last week, around 5 pm on Friday, I approached a colleague, who is also my close friend, with some quick work-related questions.

Once we finished discussing work, I asked her, 'How are you these days?'. To my surprise, she responded that she wasn't okay - not a typical answer to that question, right?

And one hour of conversation followed that. 

She shared her concerns about her alarming health status, her work stress, and various other issues. 

She was indeed opening up to me about her feelings. 

And I, putting all my pending tasks on hold, listened to her attentively.

After our talk, I realized that even though I had asked her “How are you” many times before, I had never gotten such a response from her.

I just asked randomly, not caring about the answer.

I often asked when I was in a hurry and did not have time to listen to her. 

I just asked when she wasn’t in a comfortable mood or could trust me to be vulnerable, and shared her feelings. 

In other words, the people and the context make “I’m fine” one hundred times easier to say than “I’m not okay”.

I felt a sense of relief because we had finally created the right environment for such a personal question and we valued the vulnerable answer “not okay” from her. 

I truly believe that admitting “I'm not okay” requires a great deal of bravery, not just from the person sharing their feelings, but also from the one asking about them.

So, the next time you're concerned about someone, make sure you create a safe and comfortable environment for them to open up.

Remember, when someone trusts you enough to say “I'm not okay”, it's a moment that deserves our full attention and empathy. Such an answer is worth the time and heart it takes to emerge.

Imagine having a deep talk with this view. Great, isn’t it?

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Bài viết thuộc thử thách Viết Đều và Hay 2 của Writing On The Net Alumni. #wotn #vietdeuvahay